The Elevator Chronicles: My Name is Not Allison

Hello everyone. As we all know, the elevator can be an awkward place to be at times, made more so by the presence of friends, strangers, and that person you know but you don't know if they know you but maybe they do so its weird and you take out your cell phone to pretend like you're texting someone just to avoid acknowledging them. Therefor I have to decided to start a new series on It's Always Sunny in Norwood devoted purely to stories and random happenings that occur in the elevator, and not just Xavier University elevators either. The elevators may be located anywhere in the world. Everything is fair game in "The Elevator Chronicles."
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Anyway it is time for me to kick of these chronicles with a little story of my own. It was around late September and it was a beatiful, sunny day out. I had just returned from the mail center with a slew of letters that had been piling up in my mailbox since my arrival at the X. I enter the first floor lobby and head to the elevators where I promplty press the "up" button so the elevator may lift me to my wonderful Kuhlman 5 West. As I waited for the elevator to arrive I decided to take a gander at one of the letters in my hand. So I open the envelope, retrieve the letter and begin reading. I become so engrossed with the letter I barely notice myself enter the elevator and press "5." The elevator begins its ascent to the fifth floor and I am still immersed in my letter.

Before I know it the doors open up and I make my way out of the elevator, passing some random gentleman who I did not recognize. Still reading my letter I open the door to the hall and make my way down to my lovely room 509. I put the letter aside, take out my key and attempt to unlock the door. I insert the key and twist but the lock does not budge! So I forcefully thrust the key in and out of the slot and wiggle the handle like an idiot. However while I'm doing this something catches my eye... it's the color green. "Since when did our nametags become green?" I thought. Then I read the nametag and it hit me: My name is not Allison and this is not my room! A female voice from behind the peephole asks, "Hello?" and all I can respond with is "Oops." I immediately make a break for the side-stairwell and disappear from Kuhlman 4 West forever. I've made sure to pay attention to what floor I'm on ever since. I can only imagine what the random gentleman I passed thought when he went up to the fifth floor for no reason.

-KB